He loves me, he loves me not

So how many times has a guy ever thought or said that he doesnt want to get married. I always think at some point in every guys life they think that way, that marriage is not right for them. But how many guys that have a girlfriend say that? and how many of those with a girlfriend actually come out and say it to there special girl? Is being that truthful with someone a way of respecting them by telling them what you want. Or is it down right mean.

If you care about someone, and you think they know them the truth hurts more. So wont it hurt less if you never find out?

When it comes to issues on the "future" is it better to know if you have one or not?

SO FULL!!

Ok... i seriously just ate so much panago and jalapeño ranch sauce that i think i might puke! But it was so freakin good. BBQ chicken is unbeatable...! What do you think?

And so it is

Today was the big day, he left for vacation. "It will be good for our relationship." Aren't I the one that is supposed to say things like that? I guess not. Just a few weeks and things will go back to normal. Long nights on the phone wishing we were together and that things were different than they are. I don't know what is going to happen and that really scares me, to have someone in your life that you are so involved in is scary and i don't know if i will ever do it again. The relationships of his past have scared him and now I am paying for that... is it right? Is it right to hang onto me? I don't know. All I know is that i could be with him for the rest of my life, happy, supportive and successful. I guess I can't control the future of a relationship that is going oh so well.

This is me, this is my story. I'm giving you my heart so be kind with it. I wish i said I love you.